Lukashenko Was Acting Strangely Near Shklov
- 19.09.2026, 9:55
Whenever you're in a confusing situation, just fiddle with the string.
In the wake of the latest agricultural outburst.
After a sharp bout of political subjectivity Lukashenko took a break and went to do what he does best—what he’s good at, loves, and practices—inspecting the fields.
And what do you know: it turns out that even in the Shklov region—which the ruler wants to turn into a model district for others to emulate—without wise leadership, (flax isn’t being processed properly, the fields lie fallow https://charter97.org/ru/news/2026/9/18/698896/), and the farmers’ potato crops aren’t yielding enough. We need more to boost exports. There aren’t any stable markets yet, but, as in that joke: “Mom, just fry it, and the fish will appear.”
The only ones who got lucky were the calves and those who built a health center for them—the governor was satisfied with its quality. But when it came to machinery, he didn’t miss the chance to chime in: it’s no problem, he said, to buy another dozen good imported combines, but after all, “there are good ones from Gomel.” And they’ll be even better.
The symbolism of this showpiece speech was heightened not only by the location: the very same Shklov District where the “Kupalovskoye” agricultural holding met its inglorious end. But also Lukashenko’s hackneyed, almost ritualistic demands to scale up any even remotely successful experiment and restore “perfect order by November 7” in the agricultural sector (haven’t we all heard this somewhere before?).
Toward the end, he really let loose and demanded that officials “impose martial law” and radically transform the Mogilev region over the next year.
All in all, it seemed that after tense negotiations with American diplomats, Lukashenko urgently needed to relieve the tension. And since he had already suddenly tested combat readiness, all that was left was agriculture. That’s where you can always let off steam by threatening the leadership with prison and the rest with new inspections.
The recipe is simple and has been tried and tested time and again. In any confusing situation, fiddle with flax. Count potatoes. Visit the cows. Or press rapeseed. Better yet—put pressure on the Belarusians, from whom you can demand all of this, plus “the strictest” discipline.
And don’t forget to remind everyone and anyone that they’re not doing their jobs well. And for those who don’t get the message, you can always send them to the army for re-education.
Alesya Matusevich, “Solidarnast”