Psychologists Shared Some Tricks That Smart People Use

• 2.09.2026, 17:55

Here are three techniques to help you stop dwelling on other people's negativity.

An unpleasant interaction can linger in your mind long after the conversation has ended. You replay the hurtful words, argue in your head, and relive the frustration. Psychologist Emma Seppälä, a professor at Yale University, believes this cycle can be broken by following three consecutive steps, writes Psychology Today.

The first step is to become aware of what’s happening. Constant anger and resentment gradually become a habit, and a person risks starting to behave just as negatively as the person who is irritating them. Furthermore, memories of an unpleasant conflict can sustain the body’s stress response even after the situation has ended.

The second step is forgiveness. This does not mean justifying others’ actions or reconciling with them. According to Seppälä, forgiveness means, above all, relinquishing the power that resentment continues to hold over a person.

“Forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about refusing to let their behavior dictate your physiology,” the psychologist writes.

Research cited by the author shows that the practice of forgiveness can reduce perceived stress and anger levels, and in some cases, blood pressure as well.

The third step may seem unexpected—wishing the person well. The psychologist notes that the practice of compassion is linked to improved emotional and physical well-being and can help strengthen social bonds.
“You don’t have to be close to this person. You don’t even have to be friendly toward them,” the author emphasizes.

The main goal, according to the psychologist, is not to make peace with an unpleasant person, but to restore peace within yourself. Forgiveness and compassion allow you to stop constantly revisiting the conflict and free up your attention for your own life.